While I was cleaning my room, I found all the letters I recieved from my sixteenth birthday. Those brought back the memories; the singing, laughters, jokes and- our dance. I finished packing all the boxes then I climbed up the roof with all the letters in my hand.
Reading all of it made me smile, I never thought I had so many friends that loved me. Then your letter fell on my lap.
While reading it, I can’t help but realize how much I probably meant to you- before.
You were my man in our play, it is where I know we started. You asked me my name which you have written at the back of my notebook. One night it rained, you took off your shirt and covered my head. I still have the scarf you wrapped around me when I was soaked from the rain. We danced together in the rain under the song of Mariah Carey’s Angel’s Cry. Then I remembered about him. Your bestfriend.
He who I was with ever since. He who was waiting all along for me. He who watched us all along but never said a thing.
I know I had to choose so I come up to a huge decision. It was nineteenth of December when we met again. You were with your cap on and black jacket. We walked quietly through the rain and all I can hear that time were the raindrops on your umbrella and Ed Sheeran’s Give me Love that was playing from your phone. When we’re at the station, you took my hand and handed me the ring you always wear. My eyes were blurry because of the rain and fog, I wasn’t sure but I think I just saw a trickle of tear left your right eye.
My heart’s screaming your name, but instead I chose him because that’s what they wanted and I did it for his sake. I thought if I left him he will be devastated and you will be fine. I was wrong.
I broke your heart. I thought we could remain as friends but you change through time.
Not so long after, I remained to be with him. I knew I was happy and thought that I made the right decision, but I also knew how much I am missing you and the way we used to be. And every time we talk all I can think about was how you spoke of us in past tense.
I picked up all the letters just as when I heard the car honking downstairs. I climbed down and ran quickly to my room and stocked the bundle of letters back in the closet.
I know both of us had moved on but I still want to apologize for wasting how good we were before, for being someone who once caused you pain and to thank you that for once you made me feel special.