Mary Dianne: BALIW KA BA?

May tanong ako baliw ka ba?

Ako? Hindi ako baliw. Hindi ako baliw, may buhay nga akong masaya, kuntento at marangya

Baliw ka ba?

Hindi ako baliw. Pero sa gitna ng alas tres ng umaga ang mga mata koy dilat pa

At sa gitna ng dilim, may mga nakangiting anino pa sa kisame akong nakikita

Pero hindi ako baliw, kahit pa sa gitna ng katahimikan ng apat na sulok ng aking kwarto akoy nakaupo at nakatutulala

Nakikinig lang sa ungol at nakakangilong iyak ng kung ano man sa ilalim ng aking kama

May tumatawa pa nga sa labas ng mataas kong bintana at kahit pa may kumakatok at nagdadabog sa loob ng aking aparador

Hindi pa rin ako baliw

May iniisip lang ako, may laman ang aking isip, may bigat ang aking puso at may bumubulong sa tenga ko

Hiwain mo nga yung pulso mo!

Sabi nung bulong, sugatan mo lang ng malalim na dugo gamit ang matalim na kutsilyo?

Isa lang! Isa lang, isa lang! At kapag may nagtanong sabihin mo, wala gasgas lang, wala pusa lang

Magsinungaling ka, sa kaibigan mo sa pamilya mo, sa mga tao sa paligid mo, sabihin mo ayos ka lang
Hindi ka baliw,

Tapos tumayo ka, humarap ka sa salamin, tignan mo yung sarili mo, ngumiti ka naman sa salamin ng may ngumiti naman sayo

Bago ka umiyak, bago ka lumuha, tsaka ka sumigaw at kapag may nagtanong, sabihin mo, “wala masamang panaginip lang.”

Bagamat hindi siya basta sugat lang, luha lang o masamang panaginip lang sabihin mo ayos ka lang

Dahil walang makakaintindi sayo kundi yung mga aninong nasa madilim mong kwarto

Dahil ang mga aninong yon, na natatakot, nagwawala at umiiyak sa dilim ay ikaw rin,

Ang mga halimaw at multo na nagtatago sa ilalim ng kama mo ay ikaw rin at ang tunay na kalaban ay ang sarili mo, ay ang sarili ko!

Pero hindi ako baliw, nakikita ko lang ang kagandahan sa lubid na nakasabit sa kisame at sa pag asang masisilayan pag nakasuot na ito sa aking leeg

Hindi ako baliw, isa lang akong kaluluwang naliligaw sa mundong puno ng kalupitan

Hindi ako baliw, may hinahanap lang ako, pero di ko alam kung ano.Dahil may nawawala.

At ang nawawala ay ang sarili ko at ang lugar kung saan ko ito matatagpuan.

Ma natatakot ako! saan? hindi ko alam
Kaibigan, natatakot ako! saan? hindi ko alam!

Pero gusto kong may makapansin, gusto kong may makarinig ng aking iyak at saklolo sa kabila ng aking katahimikan

May makakita ng sakit sa kabila ng pagputol ng aking buhok at kung anong dahilan

May makabasa ng bawat salita ng aking bawat tula at ang nakakalungkot nitong laman

Gusto kong may makapansin na pagod na ako mula sa aking pinakakaluluwa hanggang sa bawat kalamnan ng aking katawan.

Dahil hindi ako baliw
Hindi ako baliw na makikita mong tumatawa sa isang sulok mag isa pero makikita umiiyak ng walang kasama

Hindi ako baliw na makikitang bumubulong at nakangiti sa gilid pero makikita mo kong humahagulgol ng walang karamay at nag iisa

Hindi ako baliw, gusto ko lang na may tumulong at makaunawa, gusto ko lang ng kasama

Hindi ako baliw, Nasasaktan lang ako nasasaktan ako! nasasaktan ako!

nasasaktan ako, sasaktan mo pa ba?

Baliw ka ba?


Physical Science is a course that teaches about its primary branches which are Physics and Chemistry- both which brings an advantage to the daily lives of human. Chemistry, in particular, is necessary to be comprehended as it functions as a solution that can bring life to many solutions ane compositions of atoms ane molecules amd this can be found to literally every person, feelings and objects that surrounds an individual. The performance task that was conducted was able to indicate the sense in studying chemistry and it stresses out that chemistry is in everything an individual needed in his life. Fuel, Household products and Personal care are just three out of the many that most individuals have little observation about its relation to chemistry, and thus, this only proves that the task bestowed upon the class presented an evidence and an example that chemistry is literally everywhere. Those specimen and products that were discussed are a solutions that also have physical and chemical properties which when mixed together can provide a product of a sole function with a beneficial purpose for the consumers. Learning about its components like its raw materials, the process of its harnessing and the modes of action that can be done to it generated an interesting knowledge within the class.

Throughout the discussion, there were moments where it would be surprising because of the many presented unimaginable and astonishing facts about the products, bith specifically and generally. One instance is that, the concept of making a battery started to form an idea argument about frog’s legs and that the name ‘battery’ means a group of weapons used together in military terms. Another interessting fact from battery which surprise tge class was that an experiment can be made and create a battery out of potatoes. Other than that, the personal care product of toothpaste can be used as a remedy to pimples and other minimal facial concerns, some also use toothpaste as a cleaning material to remove stains out of a cloth or some tiles as well. Moreover, a volcano ash is an organic component of another personal care product which helps moisturize, freshen and beautifies the skin through face masks. It can also be used as a compound for making a solution that can cure some light diseases. Finally,  a trivia that is entertaining revealed that 70% of hydrothermal energy came form Washington D.C.

Three little pigs

The day is dry and sunny when a mother and a wife’s heart is beating so hard, breathing heavily yet no tears and scream can come out of her voice, when the body of his husband, the father of her three children, flashed in front of her being burned and roasted to feed a king.

She is drowning in bereavement but she cannot spill the news out to her three little pigs or they will be shattered worse than how shattered she is being. Thus, the mother pig stood up and wore a mask of happy mother amidst the sunny day with its dark aura and went home to tell her little pigs a new fabricated news.

As she arrived, she delivered the excuse she crafted on her way home, telling the three pigs should go out, find their life and seek their fortune, giving them the only money she saved her entire life. As she watch the backs of the excited and the happiest three little pigs, she let out the heavy sobs she was trying to conceal, then she left the house and wander the woods. Never seen again.

The silver moon loomed through the night, the heavy breathing and the grumble of a hungry stomach of a sick, dying young wolf was heard through the silence of the dark. While his father wolf was crying amidst his hunger, worried his son might die sooner. Hence, tomorrow

Chicken soup for the soul

The soul is a transcendental entity equivalent to the universe that gives life, love and character. However, most people forget how magical and mysterious our souls are that they forgot to travel the depths of their being due to the reality that struck them everyday. Here are the ingredients each soul needs to be waken up and live in the reality that  magic exists in the real world if eyes were open to see.


  • 1/2 cup of the ability to be okay with not always being okay
  • 4 cups of the ability to see that everything you experience is a reflection of who you are
  • Whole bowl to connect to life
  • 1 pinch of an understanding that good and bad are subjective
  • 2 tablespoons of gratitude
  • 1 cup of purpose


  1. Pour the 1/2 cup of the ability to be okay with not always being okay. In a bowl where everyone else is, happy people are not those who are happy all the time. Those people does not exist. In life, one should see the beauty out of the normal things and one should appreciate the privilege amidst the difficult times.
  2. Mix 4 cups of the ability to see that everything you experience is a reflection of who you are. You become your own locus of control once you recognize that your experiences are a manifestation of what you are, this will able you to be in control of your own happiness because you choose your own experiences.
  3. Set them aside for a while then prepare a whole genuine ability to connect to life. Learn to turn off your phones and disconnect from your computers, this time open your windows and breathe air. Read books in a coffee shop and drink tea with your friends, then inhale the breeze of how life should be. This time, check your bucket list, because when was the last time you did something for the first time?
  4. Sprinkle 1 pinch of an understanding that good and bad are subjective. It is a matter of perspective, what right to one is wrong to another, therefore, you should not set your standards according to the eyes of those who have closed their wider vision. Always visit the depths of another perception to comprehend how other people became different then compromise.
  5. Put them together then add 2 tablespoons of gratitude is another ingredient necessary for our soul. Being appreciative to every experience we encounter is a show of contentment and gratitude that we cultivate. All the blessings we achieve is something not guaranteed to other people’s lives.
  6. Then the last thing to do to perfect this chicken soup for the soul is to mix the 1 cup of purpose we need to feed our souls. The sense of greater purpose is one fundamental of happiness. To be responsible in your purpose, may it be a sister to your siblings or a teacher to those who craves to learn, and to serve the God you believe in is a fulfillment that gives meaning to your everyday life.

2000 chronicles

Year 2000- the biggest phenomenon that brought consciousness and wake to the universe and to the world, the day these eyes laid on the most beautiful strong woman she could imagine, singing the cry of an angels brought in heaven. The year I was born. The year the world celebrate its turn of the millennium.

Many have happened when I was about to wake from my mind’s consciousness, while I was given life, 113 lost theirs when the Concorde crashed in France, which brought a phenomenal tragedy all around the world.

Year 2005- I took the first step to instilling the wisdom ans knowledge given by the school. It was when I bloom into a dandelion, ready to explore the different depths and sides of the world. I met different faces and different smiles. I was into my most invulnerable being, without fear and care in the world. This was the year I was taken into another dimension, another unfamiliar world, when I was almost taken into the world of elves. A vivid image of small little children that appeared from nowhere, laughing and running around near the balete tree, then in an instant I was unconscious and then no more memories came back about it.

Year 2012- I have to bid farewell to the laughters that bonded with my smile. I graduated from middle school, and I was aware it will be the time I have to leave my childhood and meet new friends. June 2012 it was raining and noises were all over the crowd, I was about to enter the new school that will hone the character of myself I was not yet able to find.

Year 2015- Amidst tge handsome tuxedos and glittering gowns are faces full of expectations ,glee and glamour. While I was dancing with another man I do not know, and the man I want to have all my dances with are lost in a different crowd, probably, painfully, dancing with another girl.

Year 2015- The first time I said ‘I love you’ with the readiness to commit myself with a person who has a hidden talent and perfection. This time, I know I was captivated with the spell that cursed me to fall in love.

Year 2015-2016- I was in the middle of letting go and holding on. I was in the middle of a confused mind and heart, worrying about whom among the two hearts should I keep.

Year 2016- 2017- The time i met the worst enemy I could ever have. The year I realized I was being strangled by the huge arms of depression. This was the year I was too afraid I might lost in the hallucination of pain and fear that I might find myself unnoticeable, burying a knife deep my heart and slashing it into my pulse. This was the year I found myself afraid, numb, unrecognizable, hollow.

Today- I am looking for myself.

How TO make blueberry cheesecake

While growing up, the truth behind the cartoons you used to watch begins to reveal the real face of life, and it is a mean girl dressed with innocence. The walks became steeper and narrower, and the innocence will be dirtied with the brutality of mind, mouth and eyes. Notwithstanding the existence of explicitness in life, you should remember that there still lies a calming benevolence amidst the raging ocean.

To be happy, the first thing you have to do is to recognize the sadness you cannot name. It is an entity in the universe you need to define and acknowledge, because it is the rumpelstiltskin you can’t unravel. Perhaps the heart of your melancholy is that you cannot reconnect with who you used to be, thus, you missed the days in the seesaw when the sun was setting and the autumn leaves are falling, and the days when you hear lullabies while you sleep.

Once you have named the rumpelstiltskin that worries your being, you will have to  open the eyes of your eyes. You should listen to your soul as it whispers that what you yearned for is contentment and appreciation instead of perfecting yourself to fit to society’s standards. You shall open the eyes of your eyes and give life another glance, let your heart awaken to the transforming power of gratefulness.

Lastly, you should learn that happiness and success are two universes apart, although they meet at some ends and they might have close appearances, eternal bliss and success are different. And you should choose eternal bliss over constant success. Eternal bliss is a universe filled with the heaven of life dventure, calmness and peacefulness.And it steps on the earth of memories and appreciation, this world will reveal the beauty and magic in everything while constant success requires continuous work and time for maintainnance. Do not try to remake yourself into something you’re not, but make the best out of what God made. 

I am a reincarnation of a Woman who broke free

Three words my soul kept whispering: “Break free. Again.”

In the present, this exterior is imprisoned in the criteria of a modernized city, framed by the blend of skyscrapers and rusted roofs , in a continuous infinite cemented  road and the judging eyes of the toxic air. And from every corner of this unknown streets, my eyes are searching for a familiar face, for a familiar place, a familiar feeling, but the only familiar i found is the panic from this claustrophobic feeling of being caged in the time frame I don’t belong to and the standards I am not fit into.

There were images. A sepia-colored words that depict the pictures and scenes of a vintage place with a brutal purple and blue warmth of sweat that swarms around the cell of my soul’s eyes. This was the woman I was before, held by the poor expectations of different sleeves and hat, and was asked by various shawls to cover her bruises and scars sent by heaven. But she won’t allow, because the only bruises and scars her body was marked are her name and her character- the exact title and definition of who she is. The only shawl she will allow to cover her  shoulders is her skin, and she will never let the society composed of perfectionist eyes to dress her to their standards. So she break free from the chains that held her back from reaching eternal bliss.

This mind is starting to believe in reincarnation, once she realized that her body and her soul are two different worlds. This woman- I, wants to pull her skirts up and run the path wildly that leads to the life of the real world. I want to sneak out at the dangers of the night and watch how the world goes while all people slumbers. I want to play different sports. I want to dance my heart out to the loudest beat without feeling embarrassed. I want to laugh so hard until my stomach hurts. I want to seek mountains, climb the top, breathe its air and watch the view of the endless land beneath its height. I want to learn how to swim the ocean, I want to swim its vast and endless sight of the engulfing, wild waters, I want to wander its depths and race with the million creatures living in it. I want to climb the highest trees I will meet on my journey and not be afraid of the scratches I might get from them. I want to dive the skies, I want to jump from the plane and spread the wings of my arms, then shout my name on the clouds and not be afraid of falling. I want to learn how to fly a plane and swarm around the clean white and blue skies, watching the miniature of the world under me. I want to watch the natural beauty of earth, and see the northern lights and the universe against the thin curtain of the night while I was curled up in my blanket. I want to go in a road trip with the most important people of my life and sing so loud in the road, then camp on the mountains.

 I want to go wild, I want an adventure while my knees are able. I want to have a life. I want to break free. The woman inside me does. But the body I was locked in is imprisoned behind trying to be the normal, decent woman the society means.

If this is the definition of normal. Then normal is scary. 

Who I am today, is a woman I can’t yet define and recognize. The name I was ask to hold is unfamiliar and the character within me is a fragile broken entity. This woman aches to be known, she craves to be recognized, and the tears she cried every night is from the exhaustion of pouring out words from her hollow mind, trying to define her, but the words that came out are shallow despite feeling all the pain and forlorn sensations she needs, to craft a meaning and a purpose. The soul inside this body, is a woman who wants to break free. Tired from the criteria set for her individuality and the marks that define herself. This woman has the wounds she’s tired of wearing- the measurements that outline who she is. This woman is the same woman who broke free. Tired of this feeling she had from her past life, she kept whispering the words “Break free. Again”

-Photo and Art by Stefan Pabst.